Psychological and Emotional Abuse

Psychological and emotional abuse are subtle forms of mistreatments that can cause deep and lasting impact on an individual’s well-being. It includes a wide range of personalized, psychological tactics to manipulate and control a person, by distorting their thoughts and emotions in order to maintain control. Unlike physical abuse, emotional and psychological abuse are so subtle that it becomes hard to identify and articulate the experiences of the victim.

It involves a deliberate use of an extensive range of words and non-physical actions for the purpose of manipulation, hurt, control, confuse, and/or distort the thoughts and actions of an individual, which inturn influences their thoughts and actions within their day to day lives.The Bible places significant emphasis on the power and impact of our words. It teaches that our speech can either build up or tear down, reflecting our character and influencing our relationships. Proverbs 18:21 says: "the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." This highlights the significant impact words can have, indicating that they can lead to positive or negative outcomes.

Emotional abuse refers to a pattern of behaviors that would negatively impact the individual’s emotional health and well-being. It often comprises actions and words that erode the individual’s sense of self-worth and dignity, and would manifest in the forms of manipulation, intimidations, and other actions that would lead to feelings of confusions, helplessness and maybe even fear.

Psychological abuse, though similar yet distinct, involves tactics of manipulation and control, which influences a person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors, often leading to anxiety, confusions and a distorted sense of reality, and it also includes gaslighting - where the individual is forced to question their own perceptions, experiences and understanding of events, and it may make one doubt their emotional and mental stability.

An individual going through such abuse may experience anxiety, social withdrawal, confusion, fear, low self-esteem and confidence, and may also experience insomnia. Emotional and psychological abuse may take place in various settings and environments including homes, educational institutes, and in professional spaces.

How do Emotional and Psychological Abuse Occur?

Perpetrators would often make use of the individual’s vulnerabilities, and would try to control, manipulate, isolate, demean or threaten the individual. They will try to monitor and control the behaviors of the individuals, such as who they spend time with, isolate them from their friends and family, shame/demean/judge/insult/humiliate them continuously, accusations and extreme jealousy are common in the relationship between the victim and the perpetrator, there is constant criticism, ridiculing and teasing, making the relationship feel ‘conditional’, instill self-doubt, make them feel inferior, and gaslight the individual, make their goals and dreams seem trivial and unimportant, and may even tell them how they’re supposed to be feeling in a particular situation.

They may pressurize you to comply with unreasonable demands, and would emotionally blackmail, and would make you feel guilty for not complying. Withholding communication or affection as a form of punishment is common in emotional abuse. The abuser might give the victim the silent treatment after an argument, leaving the victim feeling abandoned, confused, and desperate for reconciliation. This tactic can create a sense of instability in the relationship.

In workplaces, it could manifest in the form of gossiping about the individual’s personal life, ignoring and exclusions from gatherings and meetings, using the individual as a scapegoat, comparing the skills and expertise of the individual’s to other co-works openly, or taking credit for the work that was done by the individual. The Bible also warns against gossip. Proverbs 20:19: "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much." This cautions against spreading rumors or engaging in gossip, which can harm relationships and reputations. This shows that not only does gossip affect the one who is being gossiped about, but also the one who gossips.

How to Identify Signs of Emotional and Psychological Abuse?

Although it may be challenging to identify the abuse because of the subtlety, there are certain indicators that may suggest that the individual may be going through such abuse. Victims often exhibit signs of low self-worth, feeling inadequate or undeserving of love and respect. They may frequently apologize or seek validation from others, indicating a lack of confidence in their own worth. Many victims live in a state of anxiety, feeling as though they must constantly appease the abuser to avoid conflict. They may experience a pervasive fear of making mistakes or upsetting the abuser, leading to hyper-vigilance and stress. Victims may isolate themselves from social interactions and support systems due to shame, fear of judgment, or the abuser's manipulation. Victims may find themselves feeling hopeless, and their mood may change dramatically based on the abuser’s behavior, and may find it difficult to recall specific instances of abuse, further reinforcing the gaslighting effect of the abuser.

Effects of Emotional Abuse

Individuals may have lasting effects because of the abuse to both mental and physical health. They may develop anxiety, depression, PTSD, and may have a pervasive sense of hopelessness and despair. Chronic stress from emotional abuse can manifest in physical health issues such as headaches, digestive problems, chronic pain, and weakened immune function. Victims may also engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, to manage their pain.Victims may struggle to form healthy relationships in the future due to trust issues and fear of abandonment or betrayal. They may find themselves in a cycle of toxic relationships, repeating patterns of abuse due to unresolved trauma. Emotional abuse can affect cognitive functioning, leading to difficulties with concentration, memory, and decision-making. Victims may find it challenging to focus on tasks or make choices, further compounding their feelings of inadequacy.

Strategies to Overcome Emotional and Psychological Abuse

Though complex in nature, it is possible to overcome emotional and psychological abuse through time, support and intentional effort. Professional counseling can help victims process their experiences and develop coping strategies. Therapists can provide a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings, understand the dynamics of abuse, and learn about healthy relationships. It will help them challenge the negative thought patterns and build up self-esteem, learn how to establish boundaries, which are crucial in any relationship, and understand the dynamics of the abuse and how to avoid similar situations in the future.

As believers we must also remember that our self-worth and self-esteem is rooted in what God says we are. It may be possible for us to get swayed by what the perpetrator may say, but it does not supersede the word of God. The word of God says that we are beloved (Rom 1:7), chosen and precious (1 Peter 2:9-10), secure in His love (Rom 8:38-39), conquerors (Rom 8:37), and favored (Psalm 5:12).

Engaging with supportive friends, family, or support groups can offer validation and understanding, and can be very empowering. Having a network of individuals who can provide a sense of community and shared understanding can also help the individual get clarity on certain things when they feel lost and confused, and also be there for them when things get hard. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says: "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Therefore it is our duty as believers to use our words to support and uplift one another.

Prioritizing self-care activities—such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and relaxation techniques—can aid in healing and improving overall well-being. Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can help victims reconnect with their sense of self and promote healing. Practicing self-compassion can also be a valuable tool in the recovery process.

The Bible consistently teaches that our words hold great power and influence. It encourages believers to choose their words carefully, speaking truthfully and with kindness, and to use their speech to build others up rather than to tear them down. By being mindful of our words, we can reflect God's love and wisdom in our interactions with others. The Bible assures us of His love, provision, guidance, and presence, encouraging us to trust in Him and recognize the abundance of blessings He provides. Whether in times of joy or trials, we can find comfort and strength in the knowledge that God is actively blessing and caring for us.

Emotional and psychological abuse can leave deep scars that affect an individual's mental health and relationships for years. Recognizing the signs and understanding the forms of this type of abuse is crucial for prevention and recovery. It is essential to foster open conversations about emotional and psychological abuse to break the stigma and encourage those affected to seek help.Recovery is possible, and with the right support and resources, victims can reclaim their lives and well-being. Ultimately, addressing emotional and psychological abuse requires societal awareness, compassion, and a commitment to creating safe, healthy environments for all individuals.

(All information in this article is Public Domain)

References:

• 1800RESPECT. “Psychological Abuse.” 1800RESPECT, 2024.
• “Emotional Abuse.” Devon Safeguarding Adults Partnership, 2024.
• “Emotional Abuse | Psychology Today.” Www.psychologytoday.com.
• “Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship.” WebMD.
• WomensLaw.org. “Emotional and Psychological Abuse.” WomensLaw.org, 8 Sep. 2021.