Healing After Abuse

Healing from abuse or trauma is never linear, and it will vary from person to person. Its impact is profound and the time that it would take to heal may also be long and difficult, with the extent and intensity of the abuse playing a major role in the healing process. Healing may not also be the first thing we think about, we may think of survival first.

But this does not mean that it is not possible! There is always hope! There are practical things that we can bring into practice to help us recover from abuse. Apart from what we can do as individuals to help ourselves to move into a place of healing, we must remember that our God is the ultimate healer and restorer of our soul. He understands our wounds and hurts so deeply, and He is the only one who could touch our deepest hurts and fill them with His love.

Stages of Healing From Abuse or Trauma?

Acknowledging the fact that it happened is the first step to healing. This may be the hardest to do because we may not want to accept the fact that it happened, or that we have gone through abuse or trauma. Understanding what has happened is as important as acknowledging.

Establishing a sense of safety and stability is crucial; physically and emotionally. Learning to identify triggers and developing coping mechanisms is next in the healing process. Recognizing triggers - situations, people or environments; which leads to trauma response is important. This helps in developing specific coping mechanisms to deal with specific triggers and how they can be dealt with. Developing coping mechanisms and techniques such as grounding exercises, prayer, positive reframing, are a few ways through which one can learn how to cope. Psalm 46:1 reminds us that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble,” emphasizing the importance of finding safety in God’s presence.Philippians 4:6-7 encourages believers to “not be anxious about anything,” emphasizing the importance of prayer and awareness in overcoming distress.

Building a support system through trusted individuals, family members, friends or support groups brings about emotional reassurance. Social support is imperative for emotional healing. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up,” highlighting the importance of community.

Process trauma or the traumatic experience is next. As important as this step is, it is a difficult stage. Here is when we confront the experiences and revisit painful memories and emotions. This is where therapy and mental health professionals come into the picture. The skills and expertise of the professionals help individuals navigate through the journey skillfully, making sure that the process causes more good than harm, and also ensuring that the individual is able to move on and go through life acknowledging what has happened without letting it affect their present. As difficult as it may be, we know God is the ultimate comforter. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 states “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.” Therefore we know that our Father in heaven understands the trouble that we are going through and is able to give us the comfort that we need through this process.

Allowing ourselves to feel and express our emotions during this process is crucial for healing. Processing our emotions is vital as it helps us identify the emotions which are linked to our trauma, and how we can deal with them effectively. Going through these emotions may also leave us feeling broken; it may feel like we are reliving the past but Psalm 34:18 reassures us that “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” affirming that God is present in our pain.

We also need to learn how to develop healthier coping strategies to replace maladaptive behaviors. Maladaptive behaviors could be self isolation, anger outburst and possible self harm, but learning how to direct our energies in the right way would ultimately benefit us and allow us to express ourselves in the best way possible. It may be challenging going through this entirely new process of practicing new behaviors but James 1:2-4 encourages believers to “consider it pure joy... whenever you face trials of many kinds,” suggesting that challenges can lead to personal growth and perseverance.

The next step would be rebuilding our self esteem. Building a positive self after going through trauma is necessary as trauma impacts our self worth, our beliefs about ourselves and possibly our identity. Building a good and positive self esteem develops our confidence in ourselves, it helps us deal with setbacks and challenges more effectively, and helps us develop positive relationships with others. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” encouraging us to embrace our inherent worth.

Reconnection and Self Empowerment involves reconnecting with ourselves, others and with God. Working to rebuild our relationships needs renewed trust within our familiar circles and in new environments as well. Trust is the foundation to healthy relationships. Learning how to trust again is something that we need to do. Getting back into the community and participating in activities can foster a sense of belonging. As Proverbs 27:17 says, ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another’. Being in a community is essential for emotional healing, as our community also helps us overcome difficulties through its support, wisdom and guidance. Empowerment is key in trauma recovery. Finding strength back in ourselves and who we are will help us overcome our challenges as and when we face them. Philippians 4:13 affirms that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” emphasizing the strength found in faith.

References:

• Briere, J. (2006). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.
• - Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2015). Principles of Trauma Therapy: A Guide to Symptoms, Evaluation, and Treatment. Sage Publications.
• - Courtois, C. A., & Ford, J. D. (2009). Treating Complex Trauma: A Sequenced, Relationship-Based Approach. Guilford Press.
• “How Trauma Affects Your Self Esteem.” Liberation Healing Seattle, www.liberationhealingseattle.com/blog-trauma-therapist/how-trauma-affects-your-self-esteem.

(All information in this article is Public Domain)